Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Good things happened this month:

  1. Mama got a new job! I actually sent her resume to one of the ads that i read and a week later they called her for an interview...
  2. We got a new pet...he is a half bullmastiff/half labrador dog...it was my sister who got him but since she lives in an apartment, she's not allowed to keep the dog there, so SHE JUST decided to bring him home with us!At first, all of us said NO because all of us are working during daytime but my sister said she can't return him back since the owners already moved to calgary...SO, i have to work nights (all 12hrs) to take care of him during daytime...its so taxing and stressful because i have to wake up every 2hrs to let him out so that he can pee and poo...its very hard to potty train him since he's still a puppy (they said puppy can't hold their pee so long)...i already cried once because i got so tired taking care of him...huhuhu...i'm thinking of bringing him to obedience school so he would learn the basics (sit, come, stay, and no)...by the way, his name is Riley but my dad calls him ranger...so now, he's having an identity crisis...hehehe..
  3. Watched Gawad Kalinga concert...was moved by stephanie reese (former miss saigon-germany), dylan wilk and calvin keene's stories...after watching the concert, i felt guilty because i realized that my iced cappucino (from tim hortons) per day can help a kid go to school...right now, i am hoping and praying that i can save money to at least send one child to school next yr...
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Riley with mamu and euan

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from l-r ate rizza, sheila, calvin keene (GK advocate) and me

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ana and i with stephanie reese

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with dylan wilk (take some time to read his lifestory because you'll be amaze what he gave up to help the poor people in philippines)

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with friends

Saturday, May 20, 2006

10 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

Silence is a relationship killer...you need to FIGHT
Studies show that couples who fight have a stronger relationship and marriage. An old axiom says, "The dirtiest fighter is the one who refuses to fight at all." Someone who doesn't want to rock the boat, and skirts the issues to avoid conflict, ultimately damages the relationship. Fighting can actually get us through a conflict to a level of greater intimacy. So, Fight for your relationship...it's the best thing you can do.


Fight Fairly
Remember that you are trying to grow together. Often we learned unhealthy or unfair ways of fighting from parents or from our culture.
These make winning at any cost the most important goal. If one spouse wins...both lose.


No Name Calling
Calling a spouse a name such as "stupid" simply backs that person away from a fight. Do not call each other names except the affectionate ones you normally use, such as "Honey" or "Dear."



Do Not Involve Other People
The argument is between the two of you. Young couples make the mistake of involving friends or parents (usually mothers). The damage comes later in several forms; 1) A parent will more than likely remember the issue long after a couple has forgotten. 2) The respect and perception once held by a parent for a childs spouse will decline. 3) A couple may feel uncomfortable facing the parent even after an incident has been resolved. 4) A parents natural reaction is to protect a child and this reaction may cause further damage to the relationship.


No Past History
If it's already been settled, don't bring it up again. It is irrelevant and merely a way to smear your partner. It is OK to go back to learn, but not to get something on your spouse.


Stick to the Subject
Stay focused. Find the issue and don't bring in other issues just to prove your point. When he comes home later and she feels taken for granted or unloved, deal with feelings to make the real issue apparent.




Don't Hit Below the Belt
Don't throw your partners weaknesses in his or her face.
You may win the argument but lose more than you gain.
On the other hand, don't be too sensitive to what your spouse says.


Don't Go to Bed Angry
Finish the Fight. Dragging a fight out is as life-draining as avoiding a fight. Unresolved anger can destroy intimacy.




Maintain a Sense of Humor
Laughter is sometimes the best medicine. It's good to be able to laugh at yourselves, but don't laugh at or make fun of your spouse.





Hold Hands and/or Look in Each Others Eyes.
Being in contact with each other, rather than turning your backs, is the hardest rule. However, it takes the focus from the issue and places it where it belongs, namely on the most important person in your life.




Article swiped from http://www.lovegevity.com/marriage/collectiveguidance/fightingfair.html